Fear of Heights

My mom said I was a daredevil growing up.  I wasn’t scared of much.  I loved climbing on things.  Being a tomboy, perhaps that was the reason why I got beaten all the time. I was always causing problems and not behaving “ladylike” in my grandmother’s eyes.  I was clumsy.  Like my mother, I was too “peasant-like”. I will never be as smart or accomplished as my cousins, her other grandchildren.

Although she told others she’s always wanted a granddaughter as she only had two sons.  Her first son had two boys and her youngest son had me.  From my memory, she did not look at me once when her son was beating me, oftentimes covered in blood.  Not once did she step in to stop him.  I vaguely remember it was her suggestion that I kneel in the bathtub until I stopped bleeding.  I don’t think this is the behavior of a loving grandmother. 

Anyways, after my tenth birthday, and after I found out she had leaped out of our 7th story apartment balcony, I have been very afraid of heights since.  

I always wonder, why was she thinking on the way down?  Why did she do it?  How could she do it?  When did she do it?  When did they find her?  Who found her first?  How long lapsed before they found her?  I hope one day I will have answers. 

I always wonder, why was she thinking on the way down?  Why did she do it?  How could she do it?  When did she do it?  When did they find her?  Who found her first?  How long lapsed before they found her?  I hope one day I will have answers. 

Categories

Quotes

“Fear is just an illusion. The more you try to understand and confront it, the more it fears you.”

Wilbert Wynnberg

“Overcoming fear doesn’t have to be skydiving, if you’re afraid of heights. overcoming fear is an everyday thing. We do it all day long.”

– Geoff Johns

Question

If you have any suggestions on how I can get over my fear of heights, I’d like to hear from you.  Please write me.

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