Identity

Somehow, somewhere, sometime not too long ago, my identity changed.  I am no longer a victim.  I am no longer a child who is afraid to sleep through the night, although I still often struggle to sleep if I don’t feel safe. I no longer need an escape from home to avoid the emotional, physical, and mental torture. But I still love being outside, living life to the fullest.  I am no longer that person who feels helpless. 

I am slowly becoming someone who is in control of her life.  Someone who is becoming willing, capable, and competent.  All the lessons in life have led to continuous personal growth and this process will never stop.  I am really glad that I am on this path now and the old, destructive, confused and lost child has a forever home. This has been a slow process and it hasn’t been easy.  

Although the transformation started in 2009, when I left the city I grew up in to move to a country I have never been to.  I also did not know anyone in the country I moved to.  It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when the transformation started.  If I had to pinpoint a moment, it would be the month of learning Muay Thai in Thailand. (To my colleague Alex who said I would die learning Muay Thai as I was not particularly fit nor coordinated: not only did I survive, I am thriving.)

I was in an environment that was bigger than me. Those surrounding me were people who can and who will. Everyone trained at different levels, and I was one of the very worst. I started my training when I was 32. The majority of my campmates were in their early 20’s. Of course, some were older, even in their 50’s, but they were few and far between.  This also confirms how important your environment is when you are trying to grow.  It’s difficult to grow and change in your comfort zone and you are doing the best out of your friends and family. To change one’s environment sometimes can be all the motivation you need. Some need to move to another city, make new friends, and even cut out families to find themselves. I had to do that myself and I am still reaping the rewards from going outside of my comfort zone.

Hell, when I was younger, I never wanted to travel and I never wanted to leave my hometown.  Now, over a decade later, I cannot imagine going back.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.” -Tony Robbins

I am slowly becoming someone who is in control of her life.  Someone who is becoming willing, capable, and competent.

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Quotes

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.” 

-Tony Robbins

Challenge

Write down who you are now and who you want to be and tag me on Instagram.  More importantly, why do you want to change? We all have a story and I want to hear yours. 

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